Bah Humbug! To hell with my good intentions (and good beginnings)
International Development Work.
I am, of course, in favor of this personal and professional occupation. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t have applied to be a Loewenstern Fellow. The biggest concerns I’ve identified from our discussions and readings these past weeks have been the “why?” and the “how?” Both questions need to be answered and they should be mutually discussed and accepted by both communities as well. To the outside community: Why – what are your motivations? How do you plan to do what you think needs to be done? Why do you believe your proposal or actions are best and/or appropriate? How will you communicate and ensure there is equality in this partnership and work? To the host community: why do you accept or reject or propose changes from the outside community? How will this developmental work be potentially beneficial and harmful?
I believe as an “outsider,” there’s a lot more to be accountable for and to answer to. Everyone else is a lot more cynical and may scrutinize you with a “Bah Humbug! To hell with your good intentions!” And as they should because it forces your service and purpose to be more developed, more honest. So what would I recommend to myself and my fellow Fellow peers who are also about to serve in international development work this summer? I would say I need to accept and acknowledge the personal interest and investment in my work. It’s not selfish and it’s not false altruism; it’ll be honest. I need to recognize my experience and reflections are my subjective narrative of an objective experience. What I will do is what will be done, but how I reflect and share the experience is different. Therefore, it’s necessary that I declare this publicly:
I want to learn. I desire no wrong or disrespect to my host community by actions, misactions, or words. I will do everything in my power to prepare myself before my internship. I will develop what I know and discover and learn what I do not. All with open-mindedness and humility.
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